Have you
ever thought about how the way you were raised has affected your
life? If you experienced emotional, verbal, physical and/or sexual abuse
growing up and have not taken any steps to acknowledge or address your trauma,
it is affecting your life in some significant way. If your parents were
neglectful or controlling, it has affected you. If there was infidelity
in your home, you will most likely have trust issues. If one or
both of your parents voluntarily or involuntarily abandoned you, you will undoubtedly
have a fear of abandonment. If someone chipped away at your spirit,
your insecurities have manifested in some way. Pay attention to how you
engage with others and their reactions to how you treat them. In
most instances, it's like holding a mirror up to yourself.
I was
raised in a very dysfunctional home. It has caused me to be distrustful of men. My looks and sex appeal have
always attracted a lot of men yet I consistently find myself sabotaging my
relationships. As soon as I realize a man is totally into me, I
immediately put up this protective wall which confuses the hell out of
them. Or I will do something outrageous that makes them never want to
talk to me again. Undoing the damage from your upbringing is almost
impossible but it is important to take steps towards healing so you can break
that ugly cycle and move towards a better life.
I was
crazy about El Segundo Firefighter Clayton Holt. What a strong, sexy man. You can see in his email
below how confused he was about me because of the way I treated him.
Subject:
No Title Necessary
Date:
08/20/XX 7:48:44 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From:
HoltInLA@xxxxx.com
To: Jacqibone@xxxxx.com
Jaqui,
What
are you really hoping to accomplish with me? A lasting
relationship. A meaningless tryst. A deep friendship. A
partner in the sack. Your behavior towards me was, is and continues to be
ambiguous.... Let's think about this for a second. You have been sweet,
jealous, xxxxxxxxxxx, coy, coquettish, overzealous, and downright mean.
So who are you?.... x xx xxxxxxxx xx xxxxx xxx xxx x xxxxxxxxxx. Yes,
physically there is a lot there. UNDENIABLE!!!! And I am one of the MOST
physical people you will ever meet. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?
C
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